Through conversation, body language, long stares from across a crowded room, a smile, welled-up eyes, that moment of speechlessness when your emotions overtake you. Everything we are is in all of those moments. For me and for all of us in #506iv, it's in our writing.
I remember a conversation I had with a indie film colleague about other people's feelings on his work, on my work, on all of our work. I said a variety of things, but it boiled down to this:
"We can't control how people will react to our material. We can only control the material"
Thinking back, I wonder if that's true. After the writing, I have to promote. I write query letters and pitches. I enter contests and festivals. I submit articles for publication. I'm putting my name out there, but where I was pinning the cause of my acceptance or rejection on the subjective nature of the business, maybe I should be looking at the way I'm presenting my work. I may find more fault with myself than the subjectiveness of others. I control the way people respond to my material, by the way I present it.
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| He's talking about "Tomorrowland", which I love. |
This class, I've been challenged to dissect my name and how it's discovered on-line. The ease that my real name is searched for in Google. The difficulty that people who don't know me can find my website. I share many of my articles and published work, but I wonder if I'm sharing it the right way.
I have to focus on my brand. I'm not the biggest fan of that term. For me, it's synonymous with being phony. Being out of touch with others. A brand isn't approachable. A brand isn't personal. But, it's what we all are. Even if we use a different term like image or reputation, it means the same thing. Perhaps, it's time to own it.
I'm faced with another choice. My writing voice. Much of my writing has been from a place of "high on the mountaintop," preaching to the people below. This was never a conscious decision. It was not my intention to place myself on a different status than my audience. It was just how I wrote many of my articles about the film business and my experiences, but my tone betrayed my intentions. I didn't know why. I didn't know how to amend that tone.
Professor Kalm challenged (yes, another one) me to be more personal in my writing. To interject more life experience in my writing. To be more honest and open, but to get to the point. (Thank you, Struck and White) Not that I wasn't honest before, but there was always a wall. Something that stopped me from letting others see me. I'd be honest, but not enough. I'd be open, but leave out other thoughts. I would tell myself that no one wants to read it, but in reality I was too afraid to share it. So I accepted the challenge and focused on being more personal and open. I still work on it and will continue to work on it in future writing endeavors.
I chose indie film as my beat because I've lived inside indie film for so long and while I'll always enjoy discussing film, breaking down the industry and simply watching stories. I'll probably still write about indie film. But the indie film beat is not my greatest takeaway from this class.
I am a writer. I always will be a writer, but it's time I work on becoming a better writer. In my head I hear the advice I've heard countless times before. "Write. Write. Write." and "The only way to become a good writer is to keep writing." Yes. Those are great pieces of advice and I could continue to write and write, but never push myself to grow as a writer. I could keep writing, but never learn how to be a good writer.
#506iv helped me realize that I needed and wanted to work on the craft of writing. I don't know my future. I don't know where my writing or the rest of my graduate studies will take me, but I know I'm on a new path. A trajectory that will involved my writing in some form. It was probably fate that brought me to #506iv this summer session. Stephen King's memoir "On Writing"was one of our suggested readings in the syllabus and I was already 100 pages into the book. I began this class before realizing it and now it's tough for me to leave.
"I don't want to go." - The 10th Doctor (David Tennant)
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